Reunification
by sophgoph
Summary: After ten years of banishment, Ursa has busied herself tending to the Fire Nation's outcasts and refugees. When Zuko and Azula find her, her life is once again upended. There will be long stretches of emotional angsty dialogue, as well as *gasp* SHOCKING REVELATIONS! My own "screw the comics" take on what Ursa was doing during her banishment. Continuous with my "Ring of Fire" fic.
1. Chapter 1

Chapter 1: The Son

The caves on Sozin's Island were a terrible place to live.

Located in the North West of the Fire Nation continent, they were completely alien to the hot Savannah deserts near the Capitol, or the humid forests and rice patties of Hira'a where Ursa was born. It was windy here, wet, and the winters were no strangers to snow.

The people of Sozin's Island didn't much care for the place. Many of the children born here longed to earn enough money to head south and make a new life. But there was a decent living to made in the island's coal and copper mines, and in the abundant salmon squid that bred in the choppy sea. So people lived here anyway.

Ursa did not live in the mining town or the fishing village, but in a cave, away from the prying eyes of the locals. Her and four hundred refuges.

The caves were worse than the island itself. The floors were continually damp, and the temperature was always low. Only parts of the cave were habitable. Many of the tunnels had dangerous drop offs and frequent cave-ins. But it was safer here than it was anywhere else in the Fire Nation. The people who came here had nowhere else to go.

A large portion were from the Water Tribe. When the Fire Nation raided the arctic islands, people fled to the closest land they could find, which happened to be the very homeland of their persecutors. They came on crowded rickety boats. Ursa learned many drowned at sea trying to reach Sozin's island.

Many of the refugees were Fire Nation citizens. Their reasons for coming here were diverse, though no less dire. Ozai's rule had been as ruthless within the Fire Nation as it had been abroad. Among them were displaced East-islanders who were fleeing ethnic persecution. There were young men evading the army draft, petty criminals who might be hanged for stealing a bag of rice, political dissidents who had left a comfortable bourgeois existence to keep their families from harm.

Ursa's job was to count them, record them, and give them somewhere safe to stay. She didn't tell them it was she who had put Ozai in power. Maybe that didn't matter. Maybe a different Fire Lord would have been just as ruthless. Azulon had created plenty of refugees in his day. But Ursa felt she had made this mess, and she would do whatever she could to fix it.

When Ozai was deposed, Ursa excitedly kept her ears to the ground, listening as Zuko's career progressed. She hoped that things would get better, that the refugees would stop coming, and those holed up in her cave would be allowed to return home. And some things did get better.

The ethnic tensions on the East Islands relaxed. Somewhat. The raids on the northern island stopped. The end of the war meant the end of the draft. The more liberal politicians were allowed to come out of hiding. But Zuko could not solve every problem. And the refugees continued.

On this particular winter day, Ursa had been on her feet since before dawn. There had been a cholera outbreak in the encampment. The sick needed to be separated from the healthy, needed soup spooned into their mouths, and needed to be cleaned when they inevitably vomited it back up. The healthy needed their fears managed, and needed to be stopped from drinking the water from the spring in the cave's easternmost tunnel. Ursa had to manage all of it.

And then her second in command had the audacity to give her bad news.

"What do you mean it's delayed!" she said to him. "We have forty-five women and children who need emergency passage to the Earth Kingdom and you're telling me the ship is delayed?"

He held out his hands in front of him, urging her to lower her voice so as not to panic those around her. "We don't know if it's the ship that's delayed or just the messenger. No news is good news, Ursa," he said. "I don't think we need to panic yet. And if it turns out the ship is delayed, we'll improvise. We'll do what we've always done. What you've always been good at."

"I know, but you sure picked a hell of a time to tell me this!" she said.

He took a deep breath. "You need sleep."

"I need to manage a Cholera outbreak," she said with a sigh. "But you're probably right. I do need sleep."

Ursa felt a tap on her shoulder. It was an angry Fire Nation woman. Her fashionable clothes, indicative of noble both, were worn thin and dirty, and she was furious. "My husband has been waiting for three days to see a physician for his knee, and you haven't even explained to us the delay."

Ursa snapped at that point. This was just one more thing than she could handle. She turned on her heals. "I thought the coughing and wailing and smell of vomit would have been obvious enough!"

"It's no excuse to just ignore us! He can barely walk!"

"Well than he can crawl!" Ursa yelled. Steam escaped her nose. There was nothing she hated more that when other fire benders used heat to express anger, but she was having a hard time holding back.

The woman glared at Ursa silently. Then she turned, and walked away, sighing with a deep frustration they were all feeling.

"I'm not sure how much longer I can do this," Ursa said to her assistant.

"Maybe you can after an hour or two of sleep. You can't fix everything right away."

She rubbed her eyes. The weight of the past was evident in her voice. "There's a lot of things I can't fix," she said. She groaned and resigned to head back to her cot for much needed rest.

However, she did not get far.

It was at that moment the lookout boy ran in from the mouth of the cave, a skinny Water-Tribe child of ten who had insisted on making himself useful the day he arrived at the camp orphaned and traumatized. Ursa had thought there wouldn't be any harm in letting him play outside while convincing him he was doing something important. But apparently had taken his fake job as a "lookout" seriously.

"Ursa!" he said, stopping before her and panting. "A ship. A... big ship. Not the one we're waiting for."

"Slow down, Panuk," Ursa said. "Deep breaths. What nation was it?"

"Fire Nation," he said. The boy paused. "Military. Official."

"They could just be passing through," she said.

"Except for the part where they anchored off shore and sent a row boat," Punak said.

A few of the refugees turned their heads to listen in. The color left everyone's faces.

Ursa was going to ask what the ship looked like but a more urgent thought interrupted her. "Did they see you?"

Panuk looked up, wiped his hair out of his eyes and paused. He didn't know.

She grabbed the boy's shoulders. "Gather the other children and take them to the south tunnel." She turned to the onlookers. "I need every fire bender in the camp to join me in Foyer. Any adult who can light a candle needs to move, now!"

Sleep would have to wait.

Ursa pulled up the hem of her skirt and headed into the tunnels toward the cave entrance, fire from her own hands illuminating her path. She paused only to tie back her hair. She needed to look presentable in case this situation called for diplomacy. She also needed to see well enough to fight, in case the situation called for that.

She scrambled up the tunnel to the open chamber they had nick-named The Foyer. By the time she got there, she could already hear voices. Her heart dropped like lead into her stomach.

"I don't think this is the right place," said a male voice from the tunnel ahead of her.

"It's exactly where he said it would be," replied a female voice. "Exactly as he said we would find it. I think we're on the right path."

 _He_... Who was he? A sickening thought occurred to Ursa that "he" was someone from among their own ranks. They had been betrayed

The voices were getting closer. The fire benders hadn't rallied yet. She was so far without backup. She had four hundred people in this cave and it was her job to keep them safe. She had to do something quickly. Without much thought she gathered a ball of flame in her hands and ran into the tunnel with a loud cry.

The intruders jumped when Ursa revealed herself. The first intruder was a Water Tribe woman. Ursa aimed a burst a flame and the woman's jacket and singed it.

The woman replied with an angry cry. She turned, widened her stance, and pulled a string of fluid from the canteen she carried. A water bender. This was going to be an interesting fight.

"You're not welcome here!" Ursa shouted.

The woman defended herself, blocking Ursa's fire attacks with the small amount of drinking water. With each of Ursa's strikes, the water between the woman's hands evaporated more and more, shrinking. Soon the intruder would be forced to flee, or fight more creatively.

"We're not here to cause trouble!" the woman said.

"You already have!" Ursa answered.

A second person joined the fight. A young man who jumped in front of the woman and charged forward with a sword. He dodged Ursa's blasts, and managed to get in close, but she was just as good in close quarters as she was at range. She took hold of his wrist, twisted them behind his back, and managed to break his hold on the weapon, disarming him.

"A little help here!" the Water Tribe woman called.

Two more people ran forward. "I have this!" A second female voice. The tunnel walls growled, shifted, and before Ursa could react, she was knocked down onto her back, her head hitting the ground. Her feet and hands were immobilized in solid stone. There was no feeling in the world more frightening than being trapped. But she was a fire bender. She had her breath to fight with, and she did not hold back.

Someone parted her flames in front of her, and stepped through them, his hands raised with fire of their own. He stood over her, ready to strike, but then paused.

She recognized him. Broad shoulders, sharp jaw, amber eyes that were intense, passionate, but also burdened with a heavy and undeserved tiredness. She knew immediately where he had gotten them. He had gotten them from her husband.

"Mom..." he lowered his hands.

"Zuko..." she said.

He dropped down to the floor, and wrapped his entire body around her, and he did not let go.


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2: The Mother

For the love of... Let her go, Toph!" Zuko said.

The stone fell away from Ursa's limbs, and she was able to embrace her son properly.

The company fell silent, watching mother and son soak each other in. They held each other tightly, as if somehow that could undo the harm of all those years apart. Ten years a part.

With her chin over his shoulder, she could not see his face. But she could feel his ribs under her arms, breathing her in, shuddering as he fought back tears.

"It's okay..." she whispered. "It's okay, I'm here. I'm here..." She felt so stupid saying it. He was a grown man now, not a toddler. But apparently it was exactly what he needed to hear.

"I've been looking for you. Searching and searching and searching. For four years," Zuko said. "I thought you were dead. I drove myself crazy."

"It's over now," Ursa whispered. She planted a kissed his cheek. "You found me. I'm not going anywhere."

"Well!" said one of the company, another young man who had not yet joined the fight. "We found her a little quicker than I thought we would. Congratulations, Zuko."

"Thank you, Aang," Zuko said. "I owe you for this. More than you can even imagine!" He sniffed.

He finally released Ursa and helped her to her feet. For the first time in a decade, mother and son looked each other in the eye.

"I thought you would look different," Zuko said. "But you don't. You..."

"Aged well?" Ursa said with a smirk.

"Yeah!" Zuko said. "It's the same face you had when you left, that's for sure," he said. "I know... I know I look different. I was afraid you wouldn't recognize me."

She took his chin in her hand and laughed. "You are definitely not the chubby-cheeked, bright-eyed boy I left behind. But you're hard to miss, Love. You look exactly like your father, and so I couldn't mistake you for anyone else."

Zuko's face soured slightly. He didn't reply. Ursa's heart dropped as she realized her foolishness. His _father_... With a single word Ursa had poured salt into a long-open wound that hadn't been there when she'd left.

"Except…" she let her voice trail off. Her hand rose to his cheek. She ran her thumb over the soft skin of his scar.

"Yeah," Zuko said, taking her hand and holding it against his face.

Ursa took a deep breath. "I heard the story," she said. "How the Fire Lord branded and banished his own son. I didn't believe it. I thought it was propaganda put out by the resistance movement. I didn't WANT to believe it. I…" She exhaled.

"It's okay Mom, it isn't your fault," Zuko said.

Ursa scowled. "I'm going to murder him..."

"What the hell is going on up there!" Another voice, from the direction the intruders had come, approaching from around the bend. The speaker stumbled into view. "I told you to let me walk in the front! I knew you guys would get yourselves killed! Incompetent bunch of..." The young woman stopped.

"We found her, Azula," Zuko said.

Azula leaned back and looked at Ursa over the shoulders of their traveling party. She was grown now, slender now and strong, her features more pronounced. Azula's eyes went wide. She opened her mouth to say something, swallowed, and looked down at her shoes. For a moment she was struck dumb. Then she swore, and released a burst of blue flame from her hands. She then ran back into the tunnels.

Ursa was overwhelmed with sadness. Her child had fled from her, after all this time. She longed to chase after Azula, but she didn't think that would be of any help.

Aang watched Azula run and then turned to Zuko. "What's wrong with her?"

"A lot," said the Water Tribe boy with a snicker, as he placed his sword back in its sheath.

"All of this… It's a lot for her," Zuko answered. "She'll come around."

The fire benders finally arrived behind them in the Foyer.

"Ursa! Are you alright!" her second in command called.

"I'm fine!" She called back. "I... We have guests..."

They emerged from the tunnels to greet the fire benders in the Foyer, who had their hands raised to fight.

Ursa gestured for them to stand down. "They're no threat."

"Who are they?" said a young woman who was leading the charge.

"Old friends," Ursa said. "I can't get more specific than that, I'm afraid. But you don't have to worry. Go back to work, everyone."

The fire benders looked at "guests." Some of them appeared to recognize a few of the traveler's faces.

"Mom..." Zuko said. "What's the problem?"

The fire benders looked at each other, and then at Ursa. Zuko was not wearing his royal regalia, but if he was Ursa's son, that meant he was the Fire Lord. And the realization was not pleasing to the fire benders.

"Ursa. You didn't invite him did you?" said one of them. "Please tell me you didn't."

"No, I didn't," Ursa said. "But there won't be any trouble, I promise you An."

The fire benders glared at Zuko. For a moment strain in the air was unmistakable, as if it would break and shatter and shred them all into bloody tatters.

"Mom, what is it?"

"Zuko, I will explain later," Ursa said. "Go!" she said to the fire benders, who reluctantly dispersed, still not convinced the threat was managed.

"Should we follow them?" Aang said.

"No," Ursa said. "We can talk here."

"Here?" Zuko said.

"Yes, we can build a fire," Ursa said. "The draft isn't bad and we'll have a little privacy."

"I guess I did bring some tea leaves," Zuko said. He eyed the tunnel that led further into the cave, in the direction the Fire Benders had retreated.

"Excellent," Ursa said with a grin. "Do you know your uncle's recipe?"

Zuko smiled back. "I don't make it any other way."

They sat down in on the bare stone. The fire was built, water was boiled, and tea was brewed.

The water tribe girl, who was named Katara and had some knowledge in the healing arts, examined Ursa's head. "You took a nasty fall, it looks like," she said.

"I feel like I might be concussed," Ursa said.

"Toph, if you gave my mother a concussion, I'll have to kill you!" Zuko said.

"First of all, you couldn't if you tried," said the earth bender girl, leaning back in the dirt.

"Fair enough," Zuko said.

"Hold on," Katara said. "I'm going to use some healing water on you, but it isn't going to be pleasant." Ursa could feel the water gathered on the surface of her scalp, felt it heat up, and felt its energy penetrate deep into her skull. It stung mercilessly. But it was not the worse pain she had ever endured, and it was over quickly. "I think I got most of it, but you probably shouldn't fall asleep anytime in the next few hours," Katara said.

"I highly doubt I'll get the chance," Ursa said.

Aang set down his tea-cup and straightened his posture, his face assuming a polite grin. "You are most likely wondering how it is we found this place," he said. "We apologize for startling you."

"That you did," Ursa said.

Aang—the avatar—continued. "We hope we don't pose too great an inconvenience."

For the Avatar of all people to show up on her doorstep... Ursa could hardly believe it. She would have ordered the caves cleaned if she had known the divine would be walking its corridors. But there was something about Aang that made her exceedingly uncomfortable. He was barely fifteen. He had that face that all teenagers had, with oily skin and fleshy features that made him look like wet clay, set out to dry before it could face the firing kiln. But even at this young age, he needed to play the part of an adult. He had grown into his responsibilities before he had grown. His title demanded it. She could see it in the way he sat and spoke and smiled, like a seasoned diplomat, used to people looking at him and expecting things from him. Ursa wasn't sure if she was impressed by him or felt sorry for him.

"Inconvenience is an old friend," she said to Aang. "I can adjust."

"We intercepted a messenger who was on his way here from Red Rock City," Aang explained. "Zuko had to reassure him he was only searching for this place for personal reasons, not because of his Fire Lord responsibilities."

"It took a good deal of convincing for him even to admit he knew about this place, and even more to convince him to lead us here," said the young man named Sokka. "Paranoid that guy. Thought we were going to sic the army on this place."

"Paranoia has kept us alive..." Ursa said. So they had been betrayed. Anger bubbled within her, but she would have to deal with that later.

"What is this place?" Katara said.

"People come here when they don't have anywhere else to go," Ursa said. "People whom the laws have betrayed. People who were victimized by the war. And we protect them," she explained. "And so you may understand why we're not particularly interested in entertaining guests, especially... especially the Fire Lord himself."

"And so I see why you haven't invited us further inside..." Zuko said. He wasn't sure how he felt about that.

Katara put her healing supplies back in her bag and poured herself a cup of tea. "And when you were banished, you came here?" she asked.

"When I was banished, I founded this place," Ursa said. "With a few other lost souls. After a great deal of wandering and wondering what I would do next."

"It makes me angry," Zuko said. "Thinking of you living in this dark place on this cold island, while Father ruled alone, living the life of a king..."

She took hold of Zuko's hand. "I took care of myself well enough," she said with a light smile, though in truth she had felt that same anger on many cold nights. "Its hard to be angry when your stay as busy as I do."

"Wait..." Aang said. That precocious air of diplomacy dropped away, and he leaned in. "Were... were you really married to Fire Lord Ozai?"

Ursa turned and looked at the kid. He looked like he was a little bit afraid of her, or at least confused. She wasn't sure she liked the question.

"Why, do you want to see our papers?" Ursa said. "I'd show you but they are locked in the palace archives."

"I mean..." Aang fumbled over his words. "I believe you, but I just expected someone a bit more..."

Ursa raised her eyebrows.

"Well, it's just you don't seem like..."

"The kind of person who would willingly crawl into bed with an unhinged war criminal," Sokka interrupted.

Zuko glared at Sokka with unbridled rage and embarrassment.

Toph collapsed onto the ground in laughter.

"It's what we were all thinking," Sokka said, throwing up his hands.

"I was going to say she didn't seem like his type," Aang said quietly. "Too nice."

Ursa looked down at her teacup. "Thanks," she said.

Zuko could see his mother growing uncomfortable. "Guys..."

Katara stared at Ursa with similarly wide eyes. "What was it like?"

"What was it like?" Ursa said.

"Yeah," Katara said. "What was it like, being married to Ozai?"

Ursa didn't answer right away. She spent a moment caught in a memory. She and her husband eating their breakfast as they had a thousand times before. The sound of him recounting a conversation with his brother, while her body ached pleasantly from morning love-making, while anger bubbled in her stomach at how he had lost his temper at dinner last night, while sweat beaded on the back of her neck knowing she would eventually have to tell him she was pregnant. She had felt all of those things at once. She'd hoped the filter of memory would have made one emotion stronger than the others, but it hadn't.

She had no way of explaining that moment to the younger woman. Especially considering how she had spent so long trying to forget her marriage in its entirety. She had work to do, and she didn't have time for those memories. But bar the aid of mystical beings who emerged from woodland pools to grant wishes, the memories were here to stay.

"I have happy memories and unhappy memories," Ursa said with a gentle smile. "And I'm not sure which ones bring me greater pain. If you yourself become a wife and mother, maybe you will understand that somewhat."

"Did you and he really actually... Did you...?" Katara hesitated.

Ursa felt blood rush into her face. "Yes, we did that, we do actually have children together."

"No," Katara said "I mean! Obviously, you and he... THAT. But. Did... Did you LOVE each other?"

The memory returned for a moment. They were still at the breakfast table. His bare foot reached forward and caressed hers while he talked, almost unaware he was doing it. Her heart pounded as she prepared to interrupt him, not sure how he would take the news...

"Would you be surprised if I said yes?" Ursa said.

"He treated you like garbage," Zuko said.

"Not in the beginning," she said. "I married him against my family's wishes. Does that answer your question, Katara?"

"Really?" Zuko said.

"Oh yes," she said. "Between the engagement and the wedding, my poor father did not sleep a wink. But when a prince asks for your daughter's hand in marriage you don't dare say no. So we got married."

Katara was not satisfied. She paused for a beat, her eyebrows knitted in a look almost like horror. "Why?"

"Why?" Ursa said with a laugh. "Because he was a prince and he was good-looking and I was seventeen and I was stupid. That's why."

"Oh," Katara said, still not sure she understood.

"Look," Ursa said to the younger woman. "I understand why my answer leaves you unsettled. I get it. You think of a person like Fire Lord Ozai, and your mind goes to portraits on a wall, and stories about war and politics and taxes, and far off goings-on in a capital city, and not a flesh and blood human. Especially when it's someone who caused so much misery as he did. No one wants to imagine a normal, flesh-and-blood human being doing such terrible things. But yes. He was my husband. I married him of my own free will. I bore his children of my own free will. And I most certainly did not leave him of my own free will." She put her hand on Zuko's arm, almost by instinct. "Especially considering all I had to leave behind."

Zuko looked down, and his mouth tensed in an involuntary smile.

"Then why didn't you come back?"

They all turned. Azula had emerged from the tunnels. In the light from their fire they could see her arms were crossed. She was standing against the tunnel entrance, but then she stepped forward toward the group.

"You left because our father ordered you to leave," Azula said. "Or at least that's the story you're going to stick with."

"Azula..." Zuko hissed.

"But for four years, Father has been sitting in a hole in the ground. And you would rather sit in your own hole in the ground than come home," Azula continued. "No one was stopping you from returning to the Capital City. No one was stopping you from writing a letter. No one was stopping you from letting your CHILDREN know you were still alive, and that you still cared about us."

"I don't think is the time or place, Azula," Zuko said.

"Then name a time and a place!" she said. She turned and stared Ursa dead in the eye. "I've been waiting ten years to speak my mind!" Azula declared. "Because the truth is, mother, you LEFT us!"

"Dinner and a show..." Toph whispered.

"Do... you need us to step out? " Aang said quietly. No one answered him.

"Azula it wasn't my choice to leave," Ursa said. This was not the conversation she had expected to have today. She was coming into this fight unprepared.

"You LEFT us!" Azula said. "And for the longest time I told myself I didn't need you. I didn't miss you. I told myself that I was better off without your nagging me and treating me like a baby."

Ursa reached out for Azula's hand. Azula slapped it away. Zuko tensed his muscles, ready to pounce if things got nasty, which he fully expected them to do.

"NO! You listen to me!" Azula said. She stood over Ursa. Her voice echoed through he Foyer. "The first night I tried to tuck myself into bed, I told myself I didn't need you. When I was ten and my father hit me so hard my head pounded for a week, I told myself I didn't need you. When I was twelve and I bled for the first time, and I thought I was going to die because no one was there to explain it to me, I told myself I didn't need you. When I was fourteen and I was thrown into a mental hospital where I was tied to a bed for days at a time and treated like an animal, I told myself I didn't need you. And to think that all this time, you were HERE! HIDING! When..." Azula's voice caught in her throat.

Ursa stared up at Azula in horror. The gathered company fell silent.

Ursa tried to speak. "Azula, I'm sorry. I would have been there for you if-"

"Shut up!" she screamed. She blinked hard, hoping to stop the water that was building in the corner of her eyes. They all watched her as her body grew tense, as flames began to glow around her fists, as her face contorted with the effort it took not to cry. "Like that was even the worst of it," she said.

Ursa sighed. She longed with everything to hold her child against her chest, to comfort her, and wipe the water from her eyes. The sight of Azula so angry and unhappy caused visceral pain in Ursa's body, and caused her own eyes to tear up as well.

"Azula a lot changed after I left. A lot. Not just for you, but for me as well. I can't... I couldn't just leave. Not with... I have work to do here. I have people who need me."

"I was your daughter," Azula said. "I needed you. Zuko needed you."

Zuko looked down at his hands, the display of sympathy from his sister wasn't something he was used to.

"I know," Ursa said. She wasn't sure how to explain herself. She wasn't sure if her explanation would mean anything. "Azula there was not a day that I didn't think about you. I promise you that."

"Like that means anything to me," Azula said.

"How about this," Ursa said. "I can't explain to you what I've been doing these years, but maybe I can show you. And you don't have to forgive me, but... but maybe you will understand."

"What good will it be to understand. You will never understand what it was like without you."

"No," Ursa said. "But just let me show you. Please. Let's take a walk. Let's go into the caves."

Azula paused. She sniffed. "Fine. Show me whatever you want. I don't think I'll change my mind."

"That's fine," Ursa said, forcing a smile. She drained her tea cup and handed it back to Zuko, who put it back in his bag. And then she got to her feet. "I will only take you into the caves on one condition," she said to the party. "Promise me, promise on your very lives, you will not tell a single soul about who, or what you see in here. Just as it is my duty as a mother to protect her children, it is my duty as the caretaker of this place to protect those who live inside."

"What are we going to see?" Sokka said.

"A lot," Ursa said. "And that is especially true for you, Zuko. By the shear dumb luck of your birth you've been handed more power and privilege than most human beings can ever dream of possessing, and I need you more than anyone to honor the secrecy of this place."

Zuko looked at his mother, unsure of what he was walking into. But his curiosity got the better of him. "You have my word," he said. "Not a peep to anyone."

"Good," Ursa said. "Follow my lead, and my instructions."

They party put out their fire and followed Ursa deeper into the caves.


	3. Chapter 3

Ursa guided the company through the tunnels. She, her son, and her daughter lit the path before their feet, which glistened with water that dripped down from the sea above. Deeper and deeper underground they headed. The air grew cool.

"How many people live here?" Zuko said.

"Four hundred and thirty two," Toph said. "That's how many heartbeats I'm counting. Although I think some of those might be from pregnant woman."

Ursa stared down at the earth bender.

"She does that," Sokka explained.

"Do what?" Toph said with a smirk.

"Show off," Sokka said.

Toph snickered. "True."

"It stinks like vomit," Azula griped.

"Cholera," Ursa said.

"Cholera?! Are you trying to kill us?" Azula said.

"Grow up, Azula!" Zuko snapped. "Not everyone gets to grow up in a castle."

"Zuko, I spent my eighteenth birthday tied to a bed covered in my own piss and drugged out of my mind. I damn well know that."

Zuko huffed. "And because of that, your hallucinations are finally under control. Will you let it go?"

"I'll let it go when you apologize for putting me through that hell!"

"Stop it!" Ursa interrupted. "Zuko, you aren't helping. Azula..." She sighed. " _Love_. I know it hasn't been easy for you. I'm sorry for that. But we'll have to talk about it a different time."

Azula growled. "Shrinks always begging and begging me to talk and everyone else begging and begging me to shut up..."

"They've been doing this the whole trip," Katara said to Ursa quietly.

"They've been doing this since they were old enough to talk," Ursa answered.

Finally the tunnel widened, and then dipped down, and the cavern appeared before them.

The darkness of the cave was dotted with campfires, that perhaps would have looked beautiful under different circumstances. The smell of vomit, as Azula had pointed out, was definitely noticeable to the newcomers, though Ursa had learned to ignore it. The sick were quarantined off in the western section of the chamber, but the unease they radiated was unmistakable. Throughout the rest of the camp, life continued on its unfortunate track. Some of the refugees were on their feet, working, cooking, sewing, passing out supplies, carrying water from the clean spring far in the dangerous southern tunnel. Some were huddled by their fires. The children were running among the campers, as if this were a perfectly normal place for them to grow up.

They stepped over crates and sleeping rolls and crawling babes as they made their way to the center.

"You've been living here?" Zuko said, his eyes wide as he scanned the cavern. "Oh, mother..."

"Yes," Ursa said. "And I thanked Heaven every day that we weren't discovered, until today."

"There's a lot of Water Tribe folks here," Katara said.

"We're not far from the Water Tribe," Ursa said. "When you're fleeing for your life from war and destruction, you go wherever you can."

"If the war is over, how come they haven't gone home?" Toph asked.

"Because they don't have a home to go back to," Ursa said. "The war is over, but the destruction it caused has yet to be undone. Until their communities are rebuilt, they are lost adrift."

"Fire Nation and Water Tribe together, you think it would get heated," Sokka said. "How do you stop fights from breaking out?"

"They knew the rules coming in here just like you kids did." Ursa suddenly turned, distracted. "Hey!" She ran for a group of children who were playing in the dark.

The kids stopped, and a few scattered. The fire bending children extinguished the flames they were carrying in their hands.

"I told all of you hundreds of times not to fire bend at each other."

The shortest of the children widened her stance and stared Ursa in the eye. "That's stupid!" she said. "You always always talk about fairness. Why do the water bender kids get to practice and we don't!"

"Because water bending isn't liable to burn someone's face off. Fair doesn't always mean everyone is treated the same, Zongying."

The girl craned her neck and stared at the traveling party. "Who the hell are they?"

"Guests," Ursa said, "and watch your language."

"From the boat? The one Panuk told me about?"

"Zongying, all will be explained later," Ursa said. "I think you have studying you need to finish anyway."

The child glared and stomped away.

"Sorry," Ursa said to the guests. "Always a conflict to manage."

"You have your hands full," Aang said.

Ursa resisted the urge to respond with sarcasm. "Does this make a little more sense, Azula?" Ursa said. "What has been occupying my time?"

Azula's eyes were fixed on the little fire-bending girl. Her jaw was squeezed tight as she watched the child sulk off into the dark. She didn't answer her mother.

They were interrupted at that point.

"Ursa, for the love of..." It was the formerly-wealthy woman whose husband had a bad knee.

"Not now, Sakura..." Ursa said with a sigh.

The wealthy woman persisted. "You have no time to tend to a man in agonizing pain, but these fat and happy intruders who obviously don't need your help, you have time for them? And... 'Sakura...' You will address me as Lady Sakura Suzuki. Its about damn time I started demanding a little respect!"

"Suzuki... I know that name..." Azula mumbled. "As in wife of Captain Jiro Suzuki?"

The formerly-wealthy woman paused and glared at Azula. "Please tell me that isn't who I think it is, Ursa..."

"Sakura. Lady Suzuki,"

"But I already know who it is," said Lady Suzuki. "An told me when she got back from the Foyer. The last thing this camp needs is a tyrant, Ursa."

Zuko looked up at woman in shock. She sneared when she saw his scar, the identifying feature he could never disguise, not since his face had been painted and printed and plastered throughout his nation.

"Hey!" Sokka said. "Did you just call my friend a..."

"Yes!" Lady Suzuki said. She shoved past Ursa and looked Sokka in the face. "Just like Zuko, to go gallivanting about on outings with Water Tribe terrorists while the officers who fought for this nation, in the service of his family, hide in caves."

"Excuse me?" Sokka said.

"Terrorist!" she said. "You come here, you attack our capital city, you make an attempt on our king's life. Your _type_ did."

"I regretted this as soon as I agreed to it, I shouldn't have brought you kids down here," Ursa said. "We should go sit down and have some dinner..."

"My type! It wasn't just my type! It was me! I was THERE!" Sokka said. He and the wealthy woman were barely an inch apart.

Aang shoved them apart. "Look, Miss..."

"LADY Suzuki," she corrected.

"Lady Suzuki..." Aang said. He stood up straighter and smiled at the woman, jumping into his diplomatic role and immediately, aging ten years with a single expression. "I don't know why the story of why you are upset, but..."

"Her husband is a war criminal," Zuko said, speaking for the first time. "And I ordered his arrest. And now he lives here. With... With my mother apparently."

Ursa's expression was pained. "Zuko..."

Aang sighed. "And, Lady Suzuki. I... I imagine that was very difficult for you. But..." he cleared his throat. Fifteen years old, handling problems adults couldn't even solve, to the best of his ability. But it was clear he was in over his head. "But, my friend Sokka. He..." Aang realized what he was trying to say. He needed to justify everything he and his friends had fought for those years ago, to a woman who had fought for the other side.

"And you!" She recognized Aang. "And you think that you, a child, even if you are the Avatar, have the right to decide how other nations should run their affairs? To interrupt a line of succession, to throw an entire continent into tumultuous chaos with your one executive decision? Ozai was our king! A Keystone to our entire country and all its functioning and you take him out and replace him with this, petulant brat who can't even..."

Ursa blocked Lady Suzuki from getting in Aang's face. She would tolerate arguing but a fight was the last thing she wanted.

"We don't want trouble," Aang interrupted. "Maybe we could have a gesture of peace. You said your husband has a bad knee. We have a healer. Katara, would you be willing to...?"

"I could take a look at it," Katara said, her voice tense. "And I probably should, before someone tells me what this war criminal actually did and I fly into a rage."

"You don't want to know," Zuko said, glaring at Lady Suzuki.

The wealthy woman huffed, studying Katara. "Fine. You want me to refrain from speaking the truth of why my country has gone to hell in exchange for my husband getting his right to healthcare, I'll accept. I don't have a choice do I? Tyrants always tell you you have a choice. But the choices are always submission or death, isn't it!"

Katara sighed deeply. "I'll meet you guys later. I shouldn't take long."

Lady Suzuki led Katara away, ranting and muttering as she walked.

"Thank you," Ursa said to Aang.

"All in a day's work I guess," Aang said.

"You and me both, Kid," Ursa said. "Work is all we do."

"Terrorist..." Sokka muttered. "I can't believe..."

"I have people in here from many sides of the war, Sokka," Ursa said. "I said people come here when they have no place to go. I didn't say from where. I don't pick and chose."

"But you could have chosen not to let in a war criminal," Zuko said.

"Zuko, are you going to keep throwing that word around?" Azula said.

"Yes!" Zuko said. "Damn it. That idiot burned down an entire city and he just gets to... He needs to be in prison, Mother! He can't just hide here among the innocent! I... I can't believe you let him in here!" Zuko was starting to turn a bit red.

"Which is why I asked you not to tell a soul who you saw in here, Zuko."

"That was before you tell me you were harboring Jiro Suzuki. You know what he did. And for that woman to call me a tyrant... after..."

"Zuko lets go sit down," Ursa said.

"Is someone going to say what the idiot did?" Toph said.

"The raid in the Red River Basin," Zuko said. "He led that, Toph. You were in the Earth Kingdom when that happened. You must have known about it."

Toph's upper lip went stiff. "I think I remember my parents talking about it. I was pretty young, but I remember I'd never seen them looking so scared..."

"Yeah!" Zuko said, mostly addressing his mother. "Mother. He worked for Ozai. He supported the war. And you're just."

"I was married to Ozai," Ursa said. "I also supported the war."

"He's a murderer. A wanted criminal."

"And so am I," Ursa said, putting her hands on Zuko's shoulder.

"What are you talking about!"

"Grandfather, you fuckwit," Azula chimed in.

Zuko went quiet for a moment, seeming to freeze where he stood.

"Zuko, you promised secrecy when you entered the caves. And I promised Captain Suzuki that I would give him and his family asylum. Just because you are my son doesn't give me a right to break that promise. Which... which is a very strange thing to say and... it sounds somewhat horrible but... I can't, Zuko. I can't break my promise and I need you to keep yours."

"She called me a tyrant..." Zuko hissed. "Ozai was a tyrant."

"And you're his son," Azula chimed.

"Don't!" Zuko said, turning on his heals to face his sister. "I am not a thing like him!"

"No, I guess not," Azula said. "I mean, Ozai lowered the grain subsidies; Zuko ends them all together. Ozai raises taxes; Zuko makes them higher. Ozai mucks around in foreign wars and Zuko mucks around in foreign political shenanigans that have the trappings of peace but still are about keeping the empire in tact. Ozai throws liberals into prison, leading riots and unrest. Zuko imprisons conservatives, leading to riots and unrest."

"Political negotiations are still a lot better than war," Aang said to Azula.

"Be quiet you airhead!" Azula said. "Negotiations are just wars without the honor of battle I can go on, Zuko. About how you complain and complain about how much of a mess Ozai made, and then you don't even bother to clean them up. Probably because you admit that Ozai was just doing his damn job and they aren't actually messes to begin with, and you just call them messes for the purposes of moralistic hand-wringing. Ridiculous really."

"Will you stop, Azula?" Zuko said.

"What? Am I touching a nerve?" Azula said with a grin, reaching forward to tap Zuko on the nose. "That truly has been the most satisfying thing for me as I watch this disastrous 'career' so far. Your hypocrisy. You were so eager to get yourself into power. So eager to throw me and Father into prison, to change things up, and bring in your era of 'peace and love,' and guess what? You, Zuko, haven't changed a damn thing."

"Maybe this isn't the best place to talk politics," Aang said.

They looked around. A gathering of refugees had stopped what they were doing and had even approached them, listening in to the debate.

"This place exists because of politics," Azula said.

"Mom, you know Azula is being ridiculous!" Zuko said. "You know things have gotten better since I've come to power. You're here on the ground, in the thick of it! You can SEE it, can't you?"

Ursa took a deep breath, she looked down at the ground. "Different yes. But Better? Now that's..."

"Mother!"

"And this whole time I've been here, a wealth of political knowledge and insight and Firelord after Firelord refuses to listen to a thing I say," Azula said.

"You never talked to me about your political opinions, Azula!"

"You never asked!" Azula said.

Ursa turned and noticed a gathering of campers who had come to listen to the argument. They had been attracted like moths to a campfire. Ursa glared at them. "Go about your business!" she snapped. "I'm having a conversation with my children! You all have work to do that I'm sure is far more interesting!"

The company dispersed reluctantly.

Ursa gave Zuko a squeeze on the shoulder. "We can talk policy perhaps a different time. Yes, I do have a perspective you don't. And we can talk about it, but not now."

Zuko seemed to tense up at the touch, not sure what to think. "Later," he agreed, his throat a little dry.

"What's wrong?" Ursa said.

He looked down at the ground. "I looked for you for four years."

"Oh, here we go!" Azula said.

"Four years, Mother. I scoured the palace archives looking for clues as to where you were sent. If anything was written down. The day after you left I asked Father where you had gone. I asked him multiple times. I asked everyone. And eventually he forbade me from speaking of you. And I couldn't pry anything out of him later. I went on expeditions. I went to your home town. I questioned your family. And here you are. And... I thought after all this time..."

"What?" Ursa said.

"That you would have been on my side."

"Zuko..."

"I wanted to think that when you saw me stand up to my father you would have been proud of me. I wanted to think you would have supported my decisions. But now I think, maybe if you had still been married to my father, maybe you would have... maybe you would have sided with him and... You're harboring one of his worst war criminals and who knows who else in this cave."

"My life has changed a lot since I left, Zuko. It's not about sides for me. It's about duty. I have a duty to this place. Just as you have your duties as fire lord. I can't just..."

Zuko's fists clenched. "I understand how Azula feels. You left us. At the end of the day... you... Yes, this is your duty, but I'm your son! What bigger duty could you have than me and Azula?"

"Zuko what do you want from me?"

"I want you to come home, first of all."

"I can't just leave."

"What! What can't you leave behind. Your work? Someone else can run this hole in the ground!"

Ursa winced. "More than work, even."

Aang tried supersizing his diplomacy again, opening his mouth to speak, but Zuko ignored him.

"More than work? Your children are more important than work, I would think."

"And I would agree," Ursa said.

"So what's holding you here."

Ursa put her hands over her face. "Someone you need to meet."

"Who!"

"I wasn't sure how to bring it up," Ursa said. "How to break the news, especially since the news is coming so late..."

"Wait..." Azula suppressed a laugh. "You didn't..."

Ursa turned into the dark and called. "Zongying!"

The dark called back. "I'm busy!"

"I know, love. But I need you to come here."

The child appeared from among the campers. The young fire bender had a kickball under her arm, ignoring the protests of her playmates who demanded she leave it behind. She was angry at having been interrupted.

"I finished my studying!" she said. "I read the whole book over and I won't do it again!"

"I know," Ursa said. "But I need you to help me prepare dinner. We're having guests."

"Who?" the girl said.

"Your brother and your sister," Ursa told her.


	4. Chapter 4: The Youngest

Chapter 4: the Youngest

Zongying helped her mother light a fire in the center of their campsite. The little girl knew how to set the pot over the fire, to measure out the correct amount of rice, when to take the pot off of the fire and let the rice simmer without burning. Skills the daughter of a princess should never have known. Zuko and Azula watched in dead silence as she did it.

Zongying was a cut from the same cloth, a biological child, not an adopted one. She had Ursa's broad nose and wide gold-brown eyes. She looked like Azula did at the same age. But she also looked like the other kids in the refugee camp, dirty and barefoot. She wore clothes that were far too big for her. Her body was thin and short, an indication food hadn't always been a guarantee in her early years.

"Mom, we're almost out of lard" she said.

"I know, Love," Ursa said. "I'll ask Hiro to order some on his next supply trip. Use what we have."

Zongying groaned. "Okay..." she said. "It won't taste as good though."

Toph laughed. "Zuko, you're heart-rate is through the roof!"

Zuko shot Toph the meanest glare he could, before realizing she couldn't see it.

Katara arrived and sat down next to Aang with an exhausted sigh.

"What was wrong with the guy's knee?" Aang said.

"Oh, he was out in one of the tunnels trying to get water," Katara said. "One of the bad tunnels. And he slipped and he banged it up pretty bad. His wife made it sound like he was dying of cancer but he'll be fine after a couple more days of rest."

"I figured," Ursa said. "Sakura can be like that. Heavens, I hope I wasn't that entitled when I was rich..."

"You know, I'm a water bender, and Toph is an earth bender," Katara said. "Maybe we can figure out a way to reroute the underground spring so that it comes up somewhere a little more accessible."

"You'd have to do that without any cross-contamination from the polluted spring," Ursa said.

"We could figure it out, I bet," Toph said.

The rice was done. It was divided into modest portions and distributed between the traveling party. Zuko wasn't feeling particularly hungry. Zongying absorbed the rice almost the instant she sat down next to her siblings. And with a little food in her belly her mood improved dramatically. Her mouth opened up and her heart spilled out.

"So my friend, Panuk, he said that it was snowing out when he went outside, and that it was almost a whole inch on the ground," she said to Zuko and Azula. "But I haven't been outside in a long time. Mom says I'm not aloud up there without her. But she says she never has time. And she never ever ever lets me go on the beach because I might get seen. It sucks!"

"Rules are rules," Ursa said.

"I know... Was she like this when she was your mom?" she said to Zuko.

"Things were different back then," Zuko said, his voice quiet and hoarse.

"Does it snow where you guys are from? Mom says where she grew up it was like a jungle almost and it never snowed. But I like the snow so I don't think I'd want to live there. Mom said that she might take me there some day but that will be like in a billion years so whatever."

"Probably not that long," Zuko answered.

"Mom said that she got separated from you in the war. Is that true."

"You can say that," Zuko said.

"You're quiet. What happened to your face?"

"Zongying!" Ursa said. "We don't..."

"He got in a fight," Azula said with a grin.

"Really?" the girl said, smiling and leaning forward. "That's bad ass! Who was it with? Did you win?"

Ursa looked visibly uncomfortable. "Watch your language, please."

"No," Azula answered. "He had his ass handed to him on a silver platter. It was hilarious."

"It's still cool you were in a fight, even if you didn't win," Zongying said. "I wish I could be in a fight."

Ursa laughed and pulled Zongying into her side. "Maybe if war breaks out again, you can fight on our side, but we'll pray that doesn't happen."

"What side would we be on?" Zongying said. "Against the Fire Lord or with?"

Aang wrinkled his eyebrows. "Why would you fight against..." But he was interrupted.

Zuko coughed. He had not been properly introduced to Zongying, not really. And he was anxious to change the subject. "Zongying, how old are you now?"

"Twenty seven and a half. I have four kids and a husband." She laughed. "No, I'm nine."

"And," Zuko said slowly, "do you have a dad?"

Ursa seemed to grow a little stiff. She and Zuko stared at each other. The tone of Zuko's question was not one that she liked, nosy and almost accusatory. It was a personal question, and an inappropriate one. Zuko wanted the truth, which was fair enough, but Ursa wished he had picked a better time and place to ask for it.

"No, stupid," Zongying said. "I got planted in a rice patty and they grew me from seed."

"Zongying, what happened to your dad," Ursa asked.

"Just kidding, it's too cold to grow rice this far north anyway," The girl said. "My dad died in the war.

"Who did you know who went to war?" Zuko said to his mother.

Ursa's tone was cold. "A lot of people."

"Was it anyone we knew?" Zuko said.

"I would hope," Ursa said through gritted teeth.

Azula elbowed Zuko in the ribs. "It's our dad, fuckwit," Azula whispered. "Look at her face. Tell me who she looks like. And then read the room. The kid doesn't know."

"Wait," the girl said? "What was that?"

"Nothing," Azula said. "I was just explaining to your brother what a dumb ass he is. Now that you have a brother you need to know that's what they are like."

Zongying laughed. "All brothers?"

Katara snickered and Sokka glared at her.

"All men, in fact," Azula said. "Every last one of them, trash. Best avoid them all together."

Toph burst out laughing.

"Now that's crossing a line," Sokka said.

"Be quiet, you antarctic snowflake," Azula said. "Before you prove me right."

"That can't be true," Zongying said. "My dad wasn't like that, was he?"

Ursa clenched her jaw, for a moment. Everyone around was waiting to hear her answer. Zongying in her ignorance was igniting a conversation no one wanted to have. After a pause Ursa decided to avoid the question directly. "Your sister is making a joke. Of course all men are not like that." She stroked dark-brown hair from the girl's forehead.

"What side of the war was he on when he went to war?" the girl asked.

"Fire Nation, against the Earth Kingdom," Ursa said.

"Did he write you letters?"

"He did."

"What did they say?"

Zuko looked down at his boots, and his friends also looked noticeably uncomfortable. No one wanted to listen to Fire Lord Ozai's wife talk about the love letters he had sent home whilst raping and pillaging the Earth Kingdom, except for Zongying, and Ursa had no easy way to change the subject.

"He talked about some of the things he saw there. And he said it was very beautiful there," Ursa said. "And he told me one day he would take me to visit them when it wasn't so dangerous."

"And you didn't get to go..." Zongying said.

"No, we never went," Ursa answered. "But maybe you and me can go sometime."

The girl was quiet, laying against her mother's side, her empty rice bowl cast aside.

"That would be fun," Zuko said, carefully. "We could all go together."

"Eh, it's not that exciting," Azula said.

"I wish I could go with Dad," Zongying said. She paused and played with a loose string on her shirt. "I like it when you talk about him, but sometimes I wish we didn't talk about him," she said to her mother.

"Why not?" Ursa said.

"I don't know," Zongying said. Her voice sank. "I just think about him. And pretend what he was like. And if I could talk to him. But I never saw his picture even."

"It makes you sad," Ursa said.

"I don't know why. I can't miss him. You can't miss someone you never met."

What Zongying missed was a figure of her imagination, and everyone sitting around the fire new that except for her.

Aang reached forward and put his hand on the little girl's shoulder. "It makes sense to me, you missing someone you never met. I had people I cared about who died in the war too," he said. "A long time ago."

"Really?" Zongying asked him.

"Yeah," Aang said, forcing a smile. "I think I know how you feel."

The gathered company was silent. The conversation had left their stomachs unsettled.

Ursa sighed. "You are welcome to spend the night aboard your ship and come back in the morning, but you can also stay here if you want. I can't offer any spare blankets, but if you have brought your own..."

"We can stay here, I think," Zuko said. "It will be nice to spend the night as a family, I think."

Slowly they got to their feet. The empty bowels and utensils were washed, bedrolls were laid out, and a little ash was sprinkled onto the fire to dim it for the night.

Ursa ordered Zongying to lay down on the straw mat the two of them had shared since the day of the child's birth. She kissed the girl on her forehead, and tucked her in.

"Your brother and sister and I, we have to talk in private, and then I have some work to do, but you need to go to sleep."

"Stay," Zongying said. "I'm cold. And I want you to tell me a story."

"I'm coming back, silly," Ursa said. She pulled the blanket up under the little girl's chin and then waved for Zuko and Azula to follow her.


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter 5: The Broken family

They found cover among sacks of grain and barrels of water that were stacked high in the edge of the camp. It offered a bit of privacy, which was hard to find in this place. They sat down cross legged in the dark and waited for someone to start talking.

Ursa reached into the pocket of her jacket and pulled out a bottle of cheep rice wine. She had been keeping this bottle in her campsite for nearly a year. It was supposed to be a treat that would grow sweeter and sweeter through delayed gratification, but it would have to be opened now. This was not going to be an easy conversation to have, and they would need it. She uncorked it, took a swig, and then passed it off to Azula.

All day long Ursa had been putting on airs, being careful with her words, negotiating delicate conflicts, and being sensitive to various traumas. She was exhausted now. She spoke to her children frankly, without any filters or masks. "You have questions. I'm betting that. What do you want me to answer first? Shoot."

Azula gave the bottle to Zuko. She opened her mouth to speak, but then closed it.

Zuko didn't know where to start either.

Ursa sighed. "Okay, your question from earlier. Yes, Zuko, Ozai is Zonying's father. She doesn't know who her father is. And I don't want her to know. Ozai... people here talk about him. His name bounces around the walls like the echos do. He's the reason a lot of these people are here. And Zongying doesn't need the extra stigma. I've worked very hard to keep it from her. Only a handful of people know who Zonying really is. Only a handful know who I really am. People I can trust. To the everyone else I am just the matron of the caves. To Zongying, I am just the matron of the caves. I don't want to spark a political discussion as soon as I walk into the room. Like... Like it did with your friends, Zuko."

"Sorry about that," Zuko said.

"No need. It is what it is. I agreed to marry into the royal family, and I agreed to carry that weight. Zonying did not agree to it, so I'm going to protect her."

"It's going to be a big shock for her though," Zuko said. "Realizing her father isn't the person she thinks he is."

"Zuko, as you've seen today, I'm not the person you think I am either."

Zuko twiddled his thumbs. A lot was on his mind. His first question arose. "Father told me you did something terrible..."

Ursa took the bottle from him, and took a sip. "Did he tell you anything else?" she said dryly.

"No," Zuko said, his face tensed with anger and pain. "I tried everything to get it out of him. I bribed him and threatened him and put him the darkest cell I could think of, and he wouldn't say a word."

"Good," Ursa said. "I told him to keep his damn mouth shut and it looks like he did. He already told you more than you were supposed to hear. We agreed he would tell you I'd died of a fever."

Zuko's eyes went wide. "I thought he was just holding back to try and hurt me."

Ursa took another sip. "Ozai is anything but the empathetic type, Zuko. I'll tell you that. But let me ask you. If your sixteen, seventeen-year-old child came to you, asking questions. Would you tell them the truth? Would you tell them that their mother had murdered their grandfather in cold blood, that she had put cyanide in his tea and watched him fall to the ground in a fit before walking away into the night? Is that something you would tell your own son?"

Zuko's went silent. He looked a little nauseous.

"Cyanide?" Azula said. "Really? I thought you smothered him with a pillow."

"So Ozai told you who the killer was, did he?" Ursa said.

"I figured it out," Azula said. "It wasn't hard."

"Because," Zuko said, his voice hoarse, "because Father was going to kill me..."

"And because Azulon would kill all of us if Ozai didn't kill you," Ursa said.

The three of them sat silently. The bottle of rice wine made its rounds. They had escape that fate ten years ago. And here they were today, alive. Maybe they should have felt relieved or grateful, but they didn't. There had been too much misfortune since then.

"Did he know?" Zuko said. "About... Did father know you were pregnant when he sent you away?"

"I didn't know," Ursa said. "And after I figured it out, I pretended I wasn't."

"And you kept her?" Azula said. She leaned forward.

"Well, what else was she going to do?" Zuko said.

"Drink a cup of bristle-fern tea, endure one night of discomfort, and abort. Don't be stupid, Zuko."

"That's barbaric!" Zuko said.

"No," Azula said. "Going through the pain and trauma of pregnancy and childbirth when you didn't ask for it, that's barbaric. Bringing a child into the world when you can't care for it, that's is barbaric. Fire Lord Sozin banned Bristle Fern because he needed women of the Fire Nation to have as many sons as they could, who would grow up to fight in his army." Her voice rose just a notch. "You spend so much time complaining about the messes previous Fire Lords made. But you don't care about the mess he left for us women, do you?"

"Mom wouldn't do anything like that, though," Zuko said. "Not to her own child."

"I'm sitting right here," Ursa said. "And I have. To you, it's barbaric. To us women, it's a necessity of our lives. Of course I kept a supply of bristle fern on hand throughout my entire marriage, ban or no ban. I got my hands on it when I needed it. I promise you, Zuko, your wife will too if you ever marry."

"But still..." Zuko said.

"Hey! When you get pregnant and shove an entire live human being out of your genitals, then you can share your opinion. How about that, Zuko?" Azula said. "Shut the hell up!"

Zuko crossed his arms. He had been on the defensive all day long. It was starting to wear him down.

"See, listen to him! Ringing his hands about bristle-fern, just like Father used to, and all other idiots before," Azula said. "I told you, Zuko, you aren't that different from them."

"Enough, Azula," Ursa said. "It doesn't matter at this moment. It's not what we're talking about!"

Zuko tried to speak. "I still think..."

"I won't hear it, Zuko." Ursa said. "A discussion for another day!" She exhaled. "Yes, Azula, yes I did try to get my hands on some bristle-fern. And no, I couldn't, because it's illegal and it's expensive. When I was a princess, I could get it whenever I wanted. But when I was a banished outcast who could hardly afford to feed and clothe myself..." Ursa said. "When I was the type of woman who would need it the most... I didn't want Zongying born into a place like this. Look at this place. She doesn't deserve this life. I had no right to bring a child into this. But I didn't have a choice on the matter."

"She was born here?" Zuko asked, "In the caves?"

"I delivered her in the Foyer," Ursa said.

Azula didn't take her eyes off of Ursa. A softness overcame the younger woman, one Ursa or Zuko had never seen on her. "That... that must have really been awful. At least you had someone to help you, didn't you?"

"I had some traveling companions. Other refugees. Political dissidents from the capital. Gay men who had been outed. Young men fleeing the draft." Ursa said. "I wasn't completely alone. But they were all male, and none of them knew anything at all about childbirth. I don't think they could have helped much had I run into trouble, but I at least had someone to bring me water. It was scary, I'll admit. I had to catch her myself. I wrapped her in the hem of my skirt, because we didn't have any spare blankets. We had only picked this place to camp for one night, and didn't expect to stay at all, but Zongying surprised us and we couldn't travel after she came."

Ursa's face grew sad, her voice went quiet. Her children waited for her to continue, hanging on every detail.

"Your sister," she said. "She was so tiny... So unbelievably tiny. It took me forever to get her to breathe. I thought I was going to lose her. And then she wouldn't nurse. She couldn't figure out how. And then we both came down with terrible fevers and..." Ursa sighed.

She was aware of her children's eyes upon her. She felt guilty with burdening them with her troubles. Her lip curled up in a slight smile. "But she was a beautiful baby. I wish you two could have seen her. These fat pink little cheeks, and a head full of hair and... I had been planning what I would do with her when she was born. And I had made up my mind. I was going to take her back to the Capitol. I was going to give her to her father. I was going to make him take her, let her grow up somewhere safe and warm. Let her be a princess. But I dropped that plan as soon as she was in my arms."

"In hindsight it probably is best you kept her," Zuko said. "Considering how things... worked out for Azula and me..."

"And it is likely Father would not have taken her anyway," Azula said.

"Yeah..." Ursa said. She laughed. "You're right. It was a stupid plan. But... to think of the alternative, her growing up here. I look at that child, I see what I've put her through by choosing to stay here, by choosing to help the refugees and keeping her by my side. I look at that child and I feel nothing but guilt. I feel like I have wronged her most egregiously. And..."

"She looks happier than I did at her age," Zuko said. "I think you've done the best you could."

"But still, even when you could have come home," Azula said. "Even when she didn't need to grow up in this awful place, you chose to stay. And... And then you dare complain you feel guilty about her situation. And so you're condemning all three of your children to misery. I..."

"Azula I couldn't just walk away from my responsibilities. Yes, it was hard for Zongying to grow up here, but it's hard for all the children who are here. And after what I had done... I made this mess. I put Ozai in power. And I have to help the people he's victimized and the people his heir..."

Even in the dark, it was obvious Zuko was turning red. "The people his heir victimized..." he said darkly.

Ursa exhaled. "I can't leave. I can't I'm sorry. Not after what I did."

"You screwed us all over," Azula said. "That's what you did."

"I know, Love," Ursa said. "I know. I did. And I had to move forward after the fact. I had to decide what to do next. And I chose to stay and care for the refugees, and I asked Zongying to bear that burden with me." She exhaled. "I could not leave, Azula."

"You could have written," Azula said.

"Stop it!" Zuko said. "Leave her alone, Azula!"

"That would have revealed our location," Ursa said. "I couldn't risk sending a letter."

"Whatever," Azula said.

"It seems both of you are disappointed in me, then?" Ursa said. She put her hands over her head.

"Mother... no!" Zuko said, leaning forward to put his hand on Ursa's shoulder.

"Yep!" Azula said.

"Damn it Azula!" Zuko said.

Ursa sighed. She took the bottle from Azula, and drained the last ounce. She seriously should have considered alcoholism a long time ago. It had worked for her husband.

Zuko leaned back and pinched the bridge of his nose. "This isn't how I planned this reunion going at all," he said.

"Gee, Zuko, what did you expect?" Azula said. "A big 'welcome Zuko!' sign over the mouth of the cave? A cake? For everything to go back the way it was ten years ago when every single aspect of our family, our nation, and our world was completely different?"

"A lot has changed," Ursa said. "For all of us. I think we need to become a family again. Purposefully, through hard work. I don't think it will happen on its own."

Azula snarled. "Not sure it would be worth it honestly."

"Azula, I'm going to kill you with my bare hands, I swear!" Zuko said.

"And that's the reason why," Azula said. "I said you weren't much different from Father. I lied. You are far worse."

"Oh for the love of..." Ursa got to her feet. "You do realize who is at the center of this conversation? Right? Ozai. Ozai is at the center of this conversation even if we aren't talking about him. The trauma you children went through... Zuko, he burned you, he turned you out on the streets, he rejected you in a way no child should ever be. Azula, he bullied you and contorted you into child soldier until you broke under the pressure..."

"He did worse than that," Azula said, looking down at her shoes.

"And there are things I suffered at his hands I will not dare describe to my own children, to his children even the less. And even Zongying. If he hadn't thrown me out... It is his doing that she had to grow up in this awful place," Ursa said. "We can sit here bickering and blaming one another and throwing around our accusations, but I think we need to remember that all of us, ALL of us here, are victims of the same bastard."

Azula and Zuko were quiet for a minute. Ursa continued.

"And I think that if we can remember that we have all been placed through the same... meat grinder... that is your father, that we all have lived through the same hell and are each trying to make the best of our lives despite that fact... I think it's going to be a lot easier for us to start seeing eye to eye."

Azula also got to her feet. She sighed. "I'm still angry. It isn't going to be easy for me to do that."

"I know love," Ursa said. "And I'm okay with that."

"Maybe we should get some sleep," Zuko said. "I think you're right Mom, we've all been through hell. But I don't think we're going to make any more progress tonight." He also stood up.

They turned to head back to the camp. Ursa stepped over the crates and amphoras and barrels and sacks, making her way out of the supply pile. But when she turned her head, her heart dropped in her chest. It was going to be a long time before she could get some sleep tonight.

Zongying was sitting behind a crate, her eyes wide.

"What are you doing up?" Ursa said.

The girl shrugged, but refused to make eye contact.

"What did you hear?" Ursa asked her.

Zongying shrugged again, though tears were starting to build in her wide puppy-dog eyes.

"By the look on her face," Azula said. "I'm guessing... everything."


	6. six: Homecoming

Ursa sat down on the ground cross -egged away from her other children and their traveling party. She invited Zongying to sit down on her lap, but the girl refused.

Zongying knelt a few feet away, refusing to look Ursa in the eye. She picked up pebbles off the ground and chucked them angrily into the dark in front of her.

"Little one, I'm sorry, I didn't mean for you to hear all that," Ursa said.

"Because you wanted to keep lying to me?" the girl said.

"No, because... I was going to tell you, but not like that."

"You probably wouldn't ever have told me," Zongying said.

"I was trying to protect you."

"Liars always say that. It's not an excuse."

"Zongying..."

"What's true, then?" the girl said. "Out of all the stuff you told me."

"Most of it," Ursa said. "The major details, no, but most of the stories are."

"Like the letters he wrote you when he was at war?"

"Those were real."

"And the story about my grandfather talking and talking and talking at your wedding."

"That one's true as well."

"And when I asked you if dad was a good kisser and you said yes?"

Ursa turned a bit red. "Yes..."

"But he didn't die in the war did he?"

"No."

"Then why wasn't he here when I was born?"

"He sent me away."

"Why?"

"It's complicated, Zongying," Ursa said.

"No it's not, you put poison in a guy's tea," Zongying said.

"You heard that..."

"So..." The girl uncrossed her arms and looked at Ursa. "My dad. He's... He's still alive?"

"Yeah," Ursa said. "He is."

Zongying griped her right hand around her left arm and squeezed hard. "I can't believe you would lie about that. Making me think he was dead. It's like... You talk like you miss him but you won't even tell me he's alive."

"Your father was... Your father is a very bad man, Zongying. That's what I didn't want you to know."

"But you loved him anyway?"

Ursa sighed. "Please don't ask me questions like that," she said.

"Well I am. I'm asking."

"You are too young to understand."

"I'm too young for everything apparently…" The child's eyebrows knitted. "And… And if my dad was a bad man… what does that make me?"

Ursa grabbed the girl's shoulder and spoke firmly. "My daughter!" She was emphatic. "You are NOT your father. Do you understand? Just like you are not me. Your father, he helped give you your life. But that was where his role ended. He was just was a part of the process.

"The process? You mean the slobbery gross stuff?"

Ursa sighed. "Yes. But that was it! He did not raise you, or contribute any more to you than that."

Zongying looked ahead, the fires of the refugees lit up the dark. And over them was the entrance to the tunnel leading to the cave's mouth.

"I need to meet him."

Ursa suppressed a laugh.

"No!" Zongying said. "You can't tell me 'No.' I have already decided. I'm going with Zuko. With… with Fire Lord Zuko, apparently. I'm going with him back to the Capitol and I'm going to meet my father."

"I don't think that's a good idea, love…" Ursa said.

"Why not! It's my right! Better to meet him now before he gets old and sick and dies. I need to see for myself."

"We can't go to the Capitol, Zongying, there is work to be done here."

"It's not my work," the girl said. She stood up. "Zuko!" she shouted. "Zuko! I need to ask you a favor!"

Ursa sat alone in the dark as her daughter ran off.

That night Ursa laid down on her straw mat by herself. Zongying asked Zuko and his traveling party for a blanket and mat of her own. She was too angry to curl up with her mother as she had every night for the duration of her short life.

Ursa did not sleep. She stared over the dying fire at her son who was snoring on his own bedroll, untroubled, perhaps happier than he had looked in a long time. He had found his mother after all, after searching and searching for years as he had claimed. But Ursa was angry.

Why couldn't he have found another way to make contact with her? Why did he and Azula and their friends have to show up now? Why did have to threaten the safety of her refugee camp, question every single important decision she had made up to this point, upend her life all over again? And now even Zongying wanted to leave her.

It was a stupid reason to be angry. She hated herself for feeling angry. Of course Zuko and Azula had searched for her. Of course they had crossed every sea and desert and mountain to be with her again. Of course they hadn't thought twice before charging in. She was family to them, and they had spent the last ten years of their lives worrying over her in agony. She felt guilty she had not done the same for them. But why did it have to happen like this?

She thought about the day Zongying was born. Nothing but a thin towel separating her from the cold cave floor, her frail babe wrapped in the hem of her skirt while one of her traveling companions desperately searched for a spare blanket.

She had felt anger then as well. She should have been happy, having made it through the difficult birth alive with very little help, that her child had survived, that they had found somewhere safe they could stay. But the birth was when her dire reality finally hit her, when she realized the true injustice Ozai had forced upon her and her family. As much as she loved Zongying with all her life, the last thing in the world she wanted was to raise a child in exile. She wanted to go home. She wanted to be with her other children. She wanted peace and safety and normalcy. And realizing that had filled Ursa with anger.

The anger turned to guilt over the anger. And the guilt became anger again. That was how she had felt for the past ten years. And most of the time she had pressed those feeling down into the bottom of her mind and continued on with her life and her work. She could not do that anymore.

The next morning, Toph, Katara, and Aang got to work on rerouting the underground spring. Ursa got some of the other water benders to help them. They spent an hour or so inspecting, mapping, and diagramming the tunnels on paper, and then the work began.

The new well was placed in the center of the cavern. The water underneath was moved to accommodated it. The contaminated spring was sealed closed. It was more complicated than they originally planned, and they weren't done until long after dinner time.

But it was worth it. The residents of the cave watched in delight as they worked, cheering them on. And when Aang announced the new well was ready for use, a round of applause came in reply.

Watching the first of the residents dip her bucket into the new well, Ursa felt guilt once again. She had stayed awake angry last night at the arrival of these strangers, when their intrusion had brought nothing but good fortune so far Perhaps she shouldn't have been so hard on herself. Perhaps there were other emotions within her that had been bubbling for a long long time.

The next morning Zuko and his friends rose early to pack. They knew better than to overstay their welcome. Zongying gathered her books, pocket knife, boots, and her singular change of clothes, folded them into her blanket and shoved them in a basket to take with her.

"I don't know about that," Zuko said to the girl.

"If you don't take me," Zongying said, "I'll catch a boat and go myself. I made up my mind."

"Wait!" Katara said. "She wants to what?"

"It's my dad, Zuko," Zongying said. "I want to go to the prison to see him! Zuko, you looked for years and years and years to find your mom. Because she's your mom. This is my dad."

"It's not the same," Zuko said.

"Yes it is," Zongying insisted.

"You have to talk her out of this, Zuko," Katara said. "Zongying, you are talking about a war criminal. You really want to go to a dark smelly prison to talk to a war criminal?"

"If he's in jail, what's the worse that he can do to me?" the girl said. "Yell at me through the bars? I just want to see him."

"Why?" Zuko said.

"I just do," she said.

"It makes sense to me," Azula said, standing off to the side and letting everyone else finish the packing.

They looked at Azula. Azula shrugged.

"I'm just saying," Azula said. "It makes sense that she would want to meet him. And she's right. The idiot can't even fire bend, so it's not like it would be dangerous for her or anything."

"Are you insane?" Katara said. "I mean, you're... you, so I already know you are, but..."

"No," Aang said. "I think I get it. Azula has a point. Isn't that just a human primal instinct? To want to know... who we are, where we come from? All those things?"

Katara turned toward Aang and let her jaw hang open.

"Yeah!" Zongying said. "They get it. Zuko! You have to take me."

"I mean, not that the idea doesn't thoroughly disgust me," Aang said. "She is just a kid. I think it's a bad idea too, but it makes sense she wants to go."

"Oh please," Azula said. "Zongying would be safer in the prison talking to him than she is here! Zongying, if Zuko won't take you to meet your father, I will. When we get to the Capital you and I will go to visit him, okay?"

"Really!?" Zongying said. She ran forward and wrapped her arms around Azula.

Azula's body tensed and flinched from the human contact. "Yeah, whatever. You don't have to assault me over it." She pushed Zongying away.

Ursa, tired of listening, pulled off her blanket and rose from her mat. "Zongying, you're forgetting the one opinion that really matters in this conversation. Mine."

"A liar's opinion," Zongying sniped.

"You're not going to the prison," Ursa said.

"MOM!" Zongying threw up her hands in exasperation.

"Maybe one day when you're older, and I can come with you," Ursa said, "we can arrange a highly controlled, well-planned meeting. Maybe. MAYBE."

"Well, there's no reason you can't come with us when we get home," Azula said to her mother.

Ursa sighed. "When we get home..." she said.

"You're not..." Zuko stared at his mother.

"No," Ursa said. "I'm not coming to the Capitol. I have people here who need me. I have work to do. There's a cholera outbreak going on. We have an incoming caravan of refugees coming in from the north next month. My friend is due to have her baby in the next few weeks and she's going to need my help. I can't just walk away. Long ago I was forced to walk away from my responsibilities and all I cared about. I'm not going to do it voluntarily."

Zuko took a deep breath. He was noticeably crestfallen. "I came all this way looking for you, hoping to bring..."

"I know, Love." she said. "And, I'm very grateful that you did. It is a dream come true for me being able to see you again. More than you can imagine. But I can't leave."

There was a thick and uncomfortable pause.

"Well," Zuko said, looking down at his feet. "You've made it very clear to me how seriously you take your duties here. And, I need to respect that."

"And I don't particularly want Zongying going to the Capitol without me, so..." She moved to take the basket of supplies from the girl's arms.

"You aren't serious!" Zongying cried. "Mom! Zuko already told me I could go with him! This isn't FAIR."

"I've made up my mind," Ursa said. "You're nine years old, I can't send you off to some foreign city without me."

"No!" Zongying started to cry. The traveling party stepped back from her a little. "You don't ever let me do anything! I'm not allowed to go outside! I'm not allowed to go to the beach! I'm a fire bender, mom, and I'm not even allowed to see the sun! Hell! I'm not even allowed to fire bend! I'm done with this! I'm not letting you keep me here."

"Zongying..." Ursa's protests however were useless.

"You can try!" Zongying curled her tiny fists and widened her stance. Smoke escaped from her hands and her breath. She looked Ursa dead in the eye. "You can tie me up with a rope and imprison me in one of the tunnels. You can weigh me down with a rock or break my legs but I'll still escape!" she said. "I'll go to the fishing village and get a boat! I'll swim if I have to! You keep me away from the rest of the world! You don't tell me the truth! I'm done. I'm going if you like it or not!" She took her basket and marched off towards the cave's exit.

"Zongying, come back here!" Ursa called. The girl did not listen.

Azula picked up her bag and sighed. "Her whole life she's been simultaneously sheltered and exposed to the worst the world has to offer. After every thing you've screwed up, Mother, the least you can do is let her meet her old man." She followed Zongying outside.

"Azula!" Zuko shouted. "Apologize to her!"

Azula did not turn around, but did raise her hand to show Zuko her finger.

Zuko fumed. "Mother, if you don't want her to get on that boat, I won't let her on the boat. Azula has no right to undermine you that way. Or to speak to you that way."

"But she does have a point," Ursa said. "I have screwed everything up."

"Mother..." Zuko said. "You don't need to say that."

"You're sweet," Ursa said, her voice tired. She put her hand on Zuko's cheek. She sighed and turned toward the traveling party. "I'm sorry I could not give you the warmest welcome you deserve. But it was a pleasure to meet all of you. Do you need help to carry out your things?"

"I think we can handle it," Sokka said. "We're used to traveling."

The avatar turned to her and bowed. "It was kind enough to let us into your cave," he said, his tone once again striking that dissonant mix of youth and maturity. "I know you value your secrecy. But if you need anything else, all you need to do is write."

"All I need is for you to keep your promise," Ursa said. "Not a word..."

"Yes, Ma'am," Aang said.

Zuko put his arms around his mother. He held her tightly, perhaps the last chance he would have in a while to do so. She felt water building in her eyes. What would happen after this? It wasn't like he could visit any time he wanted. It wasn't as if she could simply take a ship to the capitol to have Harvest Festival dinner with him. And he knew that. After ten years apart they would be separated all over again.

She let go.

Her son picked up his bags, and he his friends headed for the cave's exist.

Ursa watched them go, standing at her campsite, heart sinking threw her chest into her stomach.

She would clean up from breakfast. And then she would help Zongying practice her reading and writing. And then make her daily inspection of the camp, check the inventory in the supply stash, update the records to accommodate new arrivals. So much work. She wasn't ready to sink back into the old routine.

And an impulse overcame her. Illogical and stupid and impractical.

"Hell..." she said.

Moving as quickly as she could she grabbed an old sack from beside her bedroll. Into it she shoved some of her clothes, her bottles of soaps and ointments, her hairbrush. She reached under her pillow for her sapphire necklace, of of the few keepsakes she had from the days of old (Perhaps she could have answered Katara's questions about her marriage a lot more quickly by showing her that.) She stamped out the campfire, rolled up her sleeping mat, and then picked up the basket that Zongying had packed.

The rest could stay where it was. Perhaps someone in the camp would use it or steal it but she'd deal with that after she got back.

Her second in command was sitting in his work space near the entrance of the cave, writing a letter to one of their suppliers.

"Hey!" Ursa said.

He looked up.

"You think you can handle things on your own for a week or so?"

"Where are you going?"

"Vacation."

He looked at her as if she had just solicited him for murder.

"With my children," she said.

"I assumed," he said.

"I'm coming back. Just make sure the newcomers from the Peninsula file their papers. I don't want to sort out the same we did last year, do you understand?"

He sighed. "Do you think that's a good idea, you leaving?"

"It's a terrible idea," she said. "And I'm doing it anyway."

She smiled at him, and then headed into the tunnel.


End file.
